On September 11, 1995 my oldest child was born. I was terrified to be a mother, wondering how I would be able to take care of someone other than myself. I look back now and understand that God slowed me down; he made me focus on someone other than myself, and in turn fix my eyes on Him.
I have been blessed with four very active children and have learned a lot about myself in the process. Each one has been blessed with their own unique character and needs. It has taken me a long time to get to a point where I can say that I feel blessed to have some special needs in our home. I know God does not give us more than we can bear. In saying that, I feel like the challenges we face on a daily basis are meant to not only make us stronger, but will enable us to share our challenges and teach others the things we have learned.
So what challenges do we face? I feel like often times it is exhausting to keep explaining why my son is not like the typical teenager. His disabilities are not physical, making it difficult for others to really understand that he has special needs.
My son, Jacob, has Asperger's Syndrome. He also has bipolar, anxiety, and ADHD. I look at him and I am blown away by the perseverance he has. He just does not give up. The other day he was trying to look for someone to spend time with, he made 8 phone calls. I could tell he was getting discouraged, but he did not give up until he has called most of the phone numbers in his phone. It saddened me that things did not work out, but I was so proud of him for trying (he has been challenged to work on developing relationships with others).
He has grown a lot, yes he is tall, but that is not what I mean. I am moved by how hard he is fighting to change some serious behavioral problems. I am so proud of how far he has come. I am praying and trying to teach him as much as I can so he might possibly be able leave home and soar on his own at some point.
Jacob is not the only one with a special need in our home. He is honestly just the most obvious. I am more than happy to talk about the things we face day to day. I think it helps others...and I learn so much by talking with other.
Someday, I think I will write a book...
...for now, I need to focus on my family.
2 comments:
I miss you! It has been so long since I have visited your blog and I am glad I did today! I love you all!
Yes, I think you ought to write a book one day, and begin it with what you have just written. It is pure, honest, gut-wrenching, and wonderful. God would be very pleased. As an educator there needs to be more exposed about childhood illnesses and challenges, and who better to publish these? Why God's children of course ( the righteous). That way the story is not tainted or skewed by society, but rather told with admiration and filled the with wondrous that can only come from the spiritual heart. I miss all of you very much. To me Jacob is still 11, Victoria just turned 7, Juliana 4, and baby Nathan still smells brand new in my arms....happy thoughts. My prayers to you!!! I know that Christopher would cast a huge hello to you from Lackland Base in San Antonio.
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