Need to write...

As I am starting to blog for the campaign, I am realizing how much I miss writing. I have always loved to write and have drifted. I will be writing more about the family again and posting pictures, but I have been inspired to start writing poetry and to start the book I have been wanting to write for quite some time. As I continue my job hunt, I might as well write!

Women's Day

Women's Day is always so impacting.  I feel like the lessons are written specifically for me every year; like someone has a window into my soul...I guess someone does, His name is God! Jennifer Lambert did an amazing job this year teaching us about the ultimate gift.

I was so excited to be a part of the dance at the finale of Women's Day this year.  I have never done anything like this and it was great to spend time with so many of my favorite people, but particularly Victoria.  I have so much going on right now, it is a challenge to come up with quality time to spend with the kids.  Victoria has become such a beautiful young lady on both the inside and outside. 

I learned a large amount about movement and dancing over the course of a month, but most of all I realized how much fun it was just to give my heart to something all to glorify God.  I feel like I took a huge leap out of my box and look forward to doing something like this again.  The picture below are with my dear friend LaTora, who is an amazing dancer.

Just a little note...

The last time I posted was September! That's crazy. It seems like September was so long ago.  So much has happened since then. Maybe I will eventually put up more pictures from the last six months.  Not now...everything is so chaotic.

Thursday, I hit a brick wall. I left for work at 8 and really did not get home and eat dinner until after 11 (I heated up my dinner, but forgot to eat it as I focused on creating lesson plans and doing my homework).  By the time I arrived home, I broke down in tears.  There is so much going on, and I feel like I barely have time to get anything accomplished.  Sleep has taken a backseat.

My student teaching is coming to an end in less than a month and I am not sure how to feel.  I know I am in desperate need of a break, but I wonder how I can leave my students knowing the mess I walked into when I started in January.  I am hoping my cooperating teacher will quit being lazy (her own words) and do her job.  I love the students I work with and I am grateful for the special education assistant and the classroom teachers; they have help me remain focused on what is important and have given me pointers along the way. 

My house is a mess. I am grateful Charles and Victoria have been cleaning and doing laundry, I certainly do not have time, but there is still so much not getting done.  Our Christmas ornaments are lying on the dining room table taunting me as I come home each day.  I am not sure if I've been able to cook more than 5 or 6 meals since I started teaching.

I am concerned about Jacob; we have had more difficulty in the past six months than I think we ever have.  I'm sure I have mentioned it before, but Jacob has Asperger's Syndrome (perhaps I will discuss more about AS in a later post).  He also has other disabilities that interfere with his behavior, social skills, and sleep.  This interference impacts his life, and the life of others, at school, home, and church.  I homeschooled Jacob for most of last year, but reenrolled him in the 10th grade at the beginning of the current school year.  Since that time, I have had six IEP meetings to address his specific needs and ways to help him succeed.  Jacob really is brilliant...though his grades do not usually reflect his intelligence level.  My last meeting was at the end of February, I am hoping we finally have set up an effective environment for him.  His behavior has taken a negative turn since January.  I am concerned about his behavior, but I think there are health factors impacting it.  Now it is just trying to figure out what is going on.  I know I need to be the strong one, to make sure everyone is taken care of, but I am quite worried and I am feeling fatigued.  Sometimes Jacob makes damaging comments and usually I ignore them, but my fortitude is waning.  I would love to see Jacob succeed and feel confident in all facets of life.  I am really not sure what that means for him, but I will be by his side for the long-haul.  

I am trying to remain focused on God.  I need to remain steadfast in my convictions and know that He has given me the ability to face all the challenges in my life (as long as I do it with Him).  I decided, even though I am busy, to participate with Victoria in a dance with many other women at the end of our annual Women's Day.  It has been a lot of work, but inspiring.  It is definitely something I have never done. 

I am getting close to finishing up my Master's degree and attaining my teaching credential in Special Education.  I know I have insight as an educator and as a parent, I think this makes me a valuable asset and pray I can secure a job for the fall. I can't wait to have some time to spend with my family, to enjoy some down time, and to be able devote the time, energy, and love I know my family and friends deserve.

First day of School Pictures (9/7/10)

1st year of middle school, 6th grade at Kemps Landing Magnet

5th grade, Linkhorn Park

2nd Grade, Linkhorn Park

Julianne walking Victoria to her bus stop

1st day, Sophomore year, Homeschool

Halfway to 30!

I feel honored to be a mom. I know that God has blessed me four times over. It amazes me how time seems to fly by when looking at my children. Jacob turned 15 on Saturday, September 11th.

15!!!

I often wonder how I can be a mom of a 15 year old. Wasn't I just 15 a few years ago? Okay, maybe not, when I think about the fact that my oldest son is halfway to 30, I get a bit freaked out.

Jacob is a treasure. He has taught me so much about life. So many thing changed for me in a positive way when he came into my life. Because of him I have learned how to love unconditionally. I no longer focus on myself, but most importantly on loving God and truly loving others. I have learned and become passionate for people with exceptional needs.

Jacob makes me laugh.
Jacob has a great passion for God.
Jacob fights hard every day to overcome many challenges.
Jacob looks out for his brother and sisters.

I could go on and on...

I am grateful for my loving 15 year old!

Birthday Celebration Dinner, Sept. 11, 2010

Rock 'n Roll in Virginia Beach

I ran my first half marathon on Sunday. I was so excited and nervous all at the same time, but I am proud of myself for sticking with it and finishing! I actually love running. The one problem I am having is pain in my knees. On my long runs during my training, I did not walk. I knew Sunday after about the fourth mile that I was going to have to alternate between walking and running in order to finish and still be able to walk afterward. It has taken a few days to recover, but the pain in my knees is almost gone, but the feeling of accomplishment will always be with me. My next goal is the visit the doctor so I can figure out what I might be able to do to keep running. I love the freedom I feel when I run and view of God's beautiful creation!

Patience is needed

I have never been a patient person. Growing up, I thought the things I wanted should come immediately; that everyone should cater to me. Funny how life smacked me in the face pretty quickly after I left home. God has given me many opportunities to grow and mature, but most of all to have patience.

On September 11, 1995 my oldest child was born. I was terrified to be a mother, wondering how I would be able to take care of someone other than myself. I look back now and understand that God slowed me down; he made me focus on someone other than myself, and in turn fix my eyes on Him.

I have been blessed with four very active children and have learned a lot about myself in the process. Each one has been blessed with their own unique character and needs. It has taken me a long time to get to a point where I can say that I feel blessed to have some special needs in our home. I know God does not give us more than we can bear. In saying that, I feel like the challenges we face on a daily basis are meant to not only make us stronger, but will enable us to share our challenges and teach others the things we have learned.

So what challenges do we face? I feel like often times it is exhausting to keep explaining why my son is not like the typical teenager. His disabilities are not physical, making it difficult for others to really understand that he has special needs.

My son, Jacob, has Asperger's Syndrome. He also has bipolar, anxiety, and ADHD. I look at him and I am blown away by the perseverance he has. He just does not give up. The other day he was trying to look for someone to spend time with, he made 8 phone calls. I could tell he was getting discouraged, but he did not give up until he has called most of the phone numbers in his phone. It saddened me that things did not work out, but I was so proud of him for trying (he has been challenged to work on developing relationships with others).

He has grown a lot, yes he is tall, but that is not what I mean. I am moved by how hard he is fighting to change some serious behavioral problems. I am so proud of how far he has come. I am praying and trying to teach him as much as I can so he might possibly be able leave home and soar on his own at some point.

Jacob is not the only one with a special need in our home. He is honestly just the most obvious. I am more than happy to talk about the things we face day to day. I think it helps others...and I learn so much by talking with other.

Someday, I think I will write a book...
...for now, I need to focus on my family.

The stubborn tooth

The three youngest kids did not lose their first tooth until after their 7th birthday. I feel like this year has been the year of the the tooth. Nate lost his first tooth and within a 5 week period in April/May, Victoria lost six teeth. Recently it is Nate's turn. He lost a tooth at the end of July and then two more within the last week. His two front teeth have been loose for a long time. In the middle of August he was trying very hard to wiggle it out (I was ready to pull it).

It just wouldn't budge and he wouldn't let me touch it (especially after I pulled out two of his friend's teeth). Last Thursday, one of his teeth was so loose I was afraid it would come out while he was sleeping so I talked him into letting me pull it. He yelled at me afterward because he said it hurt. The next day he was eating a burrito at Taco Bell and the other tooth came out. Now he has lots of space in his mouth. It is cute to watch him try and eat a corn dog!

Girls

I am so grateful that I have both boys and girls. I think there are amazing things about both genders. Funny, growing up I had friends of both genders, but I often felt like it was easier to get along with guys. Now I work hard on having strong girlfriend relationships. There are just so many things that guys just don't understand...

I am trying to teach my girls to build their relationships with girls.  For Julianne, friendships come easily. She will call, write, encourage, etc. Victoria has more of a challenge, but she is constantly improving. 

Once a year we have a statewide church service in Richmond. I love going because I see so many friends that I don't see very often. The kids and I make many friends during the summer, while we are at camp.  Our statewide service provides the opportunity to see our friends from camp. I encouraged my girls to sit with their friends. I would like to see these relationships develop into strong best friend type of relationships over the next few years. 

Here are a few pictures from the weekend of the Statewide Service...

Lauren Westbrook and I.  She was the nurse and I was the nurse assistant at teen camp. What a wonderful woman of God!

Victoria sat with most of the girls that were in her cabin at camp. Many of the girls live in NOVA. I think she was surprised when I told her I would drive her up to spend time with them.

Julianne with her friends at the statewide service. They sat in front of us. It was difficult for them to sit for so long, but it was fun to watch them work together to behave.

Princess Tea and lesson at the Walker's house for the preteen girls.  The lesson was on friendship.

Vanessa and Julianne

Brielle and Victoria...they have been friends since they were toddlers. I will have to see if I can find a picture of them together when they were little.

Mom is there an easy button for this?

Jacob's exact words as he is cleaning out the trash can!

Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis

When Julianne was 2, she was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis  or JRA. I just thought she had fallen and hit her knee on something because it was swollen. At the time we lived in Sacramento and there was no one in the area who was a Pediatric Rheumatologist and accepted our insurance. We ended up making trips to Stanford Medical Center every few months. By the time she was 3, the joints in her toes affected and she had a steroid injection in her knee. Here are a couple of pictures of Julianne when she was 2.

Victoria and Julianne at Disneyland, April 2003

September 2003

Many kids have difficulty with walking and playing. Julianne remained active. She would wake up with a stiff knee, but she never complained.

Now she has been in remission the past couple of years! We make a visit to the Children's Hospital of The King's Daughters every August to see the Pediatric Rheumatologist. She enjoys the visit and giggles during the exam as her legs and arms are bent in all different directions. Her doctor always says she looks amazing.

I am so grateful! Here are pictures of our visit yesterday...

CHKD

Waiting for the doctor

Dancing with the statues after the appointment

The bear Julianne keeps asking for at Costco

Julianne and our friend Dawn

After lunch at Olive Garden

Father/Daughter Dance

Once a year our church has a dance for Dads and their daughters. Charles always has two dates! The girls look forward to the special evening. Charles actually dances with his girls...dancing is not something he particularly enjoys, but he loves to encourage the girls.

In the garden before they left for the dance.

Victoria

Julianne

Busch Gardens

Charles' mom came for a visit about almost two weeks ago.  July 31 (Saturday) we went to Busch Gardens. We definitely had a fabulous time once we got there and look forward to using our passes again during the end of the summer!

This picture was taken as we first came in the gate.

Right after the picture above was taken had Nate and Julianne measured for wristbands. Julianne was excited because she can ride everything. Nate was right at the line of two color bands, they gave him the one that allowed him to go on less rides, so we just took it off and had him measured at every ride.

We are a family that enjoys roller coasters, at least most of us. Julianne has tried riding them a few times because I would encourage her, but she always comes off crying. During this trip she decided on her own to try one of the roller coasters. I think it is one of the mild ones, it was the only one Nate was tall enough to ride. He had a blast. She was terrified, but didn't cry until she saw her dad after the ride.

This picture makes me laugh because it is before we went on any rides. Just Julianne making her funny faces.

We are one of those families that use to drive me crazy. We usually skip the lines and enter through the exit. The first time I realize this was something we could do I was so grateful! Jacob has a difficult standing in a line with all the people around him, so this privilege is a lifesaver. The only problem with it is that most parks only allow 4 people. Jacob enjoys that too though because it means he gets to ride twice! Last year when we went with the teens to Kings Dominion he went with his friends and they loved the privilege.

Here is a typical sight getting on the rides.

Victoria is a thrill-seeker to the extreme. She will be the one to bungee jump, sky dive, etc. I love that she has no fear in this area!

The smile never leaves at an amusement park (unless we spend too much time on "boring" rides.

 We went on the water rapids ride. Everyone gets wet on this ride, but one or two on the raft usually get drenched. I usually escape without getting drenched...not this time! The first ride Charles, Jacob, Nate, and I went. I told Charles he could go with the girls and Jacob the second ride. By the end Charles and I were so wet I knew he was not going to go again so I volunteered. I got even wetter the second time! There are 4 waterfalls on one side of the rapids. I was hit by all 3! I wore my running shoes so my feet wouldn't hurt. This was a big mistake! I felt like I was walking in puddles for the rest of the day!

All of us in the family dryer.

We definitely look forward to going back! I hope to go with the oldest two and Charles at some point so that we can ride all the roller coasters!

He cut his hair!

For awhile now I knew Nate needed a haircut. It was getting really long, but I think he could pull off almost any style.  I took the kids to get a haircut and Nate was throwing a fit.  He said he did not want anyone to get near him with a pair of scissors.  I told him his grandmother was coming and it would be great if he got his hair trimmed.  When we arrived Nate's hair was like this:

When we got there he looked through the books with many different hair styles. He picked a lot of styles that are for people with thick hair (Nate, Julianne, and I have thin hair).  Finally he picked out a picture he wanted his hair to look like.  Honestly my heart dropped!  While I wanted his hair cut, I still surprise myself that I like it longer.  He told me he thought his grandmother would like the one he picked.  She he got his hair cut like this:

I think it looks good, but I was sad to see his long hair covering the floor.  I knew Charles would be happy, He has been saying Nate needed a haircut for a long time, but he surprised me.  He told Nate he like his hair, but thought he looked good with the longer hair.  The one thing about short hair that I like is that it is easy to wash, but the one thing that drives me crazy is that it takes more work.  My boys have a cowlick at the back of their head that needs to be brushed just so and then sprayed with hairspray so it will cooperate.  For now...I can see his beautiful blue eyes!